Really about Nothing at all.

Well, I have been sitting here now for at least a good 8 drawn-out and senseless minutes trying to think of anything eventful worth writing about in my life.... Unfortunately, I am coming up empty handed. I am afraid I will never get those 8 minutes of pointless sitting and brow-furrowing back. On the bright side, I can now fairly successfully pass myself off as one of those tormented writer types with the dark under eye circles and and unshaven beards... Success!

Anyways, for the sake of documentation, here is an account of my rather uneventful day:

I ate a peach today. It was quite satiating... not too hard, not too mushy.... And then, I spent 6 hours hunched over a painting that I made... and realized upon standing that I am now crippled with arthritic back pains and might die, so I was rushed to the emergency room where the doctors told me that the only way to heal my pain was to actually cut off my back, but when they brought out the saw to start cutting, my gag reflexes kicked in and I vomited all over the friendly surgeon who apparently is allergic to stomach acids, so he went into anaphylactic shock and died, and then I had to skip town because the cops were after me, only I am a cripple so I didn't get very far and the police found me miles short of Tacoma where they made a hasty arrest and hauled me off to the State prison where I am now rooming with a drug smuggler named Leonard and practicing my run-on sentences to pass the time until my 17 years on death row have expired or until I claw my way out through the walls with my metal spoon and spend the rest of my life keeping a low profile as a dog groomer by the name of Matilda.

I may as well drink a cyanide-laced cup of KoolAid like my pals at Jones Town and call it a day.