Saturday, September 11, 2010

The Newest Addition to our Family....

Well, my family has truly done it...

Though any moderately sane person would have thought that my house was full-to-bursting with 3 dogs and 2 birds, the Ailie's have chosen to spite the system and have now officially thrown a new pet cockatiel (by the name of Butter) into the equation. Though my parents claim that Butter's residence is only temporary (as he is technically my sister's), the giant cage we have set up for him in the kitchen begs to differ. He is here for the long run, and I may as well accept my sad fate. Yes, for those of you stunned readers who think I'm joking, I do, as a matter of fact, now have 6 pets.

Not 4... Not 5... But 6.

We have now achieved a classifiably sickening number of animals in our poor house, and I fear that with our 10 (that's the rounded-up version of 6) pets, we may as well toss our collective mental health out the window and embrace a life of absolute madness. Yes, the Ailie's have now adhered to the Call of the Wild and are officially casting off our last scrap of sanity with gay abandon to instead follow in the footsteps of our good friend, St. Francis (lover of animals). We may very soon be living out in the wilderness with no clothes, while pouring Holy Water on vicious wolves and eating locusts. Such is the life of an animal-loving saint like myself.

Anyways, with the shear masses of wildlife currently taking refuge at my house, my family has accepted the task of caring for them as our God-given call. We have begun to make changes to better manage the outrageous number of creatures we are raising and, for practical purposes, have begun to construct our very own ark to store them in. Until the rains come, however, and God gives the final call for us to haul them all on board, the thousands of creatures we are currently housing are residing comfortably indoors with us. No worries, though-- when the time comes for it, my family and I will be more than ready to repopulate the earth's wildlife with our expansive collection of dogs and birds. It is a task we were born to carry out.

For the time being, though, allow me to introduce you to my 1200 (give or take a few....) pets! I hope you like them. They are very charming.

Taffy: the alpha of the pack... her hobbies include sleeping and growing tumors.
HP: 80
Special Attack:
Being Deaf-- +30 damage

Sadie: the rebellious one of the bunch... she likes to blatantly disregard commands
HP: 120
Special Attack:
Poison Odor-- +60 damage, can momentarily paralyze opponent.


Sweetie: Possibly the most obscenely fat dog in the world... Sweetie enjoys eating and looking like a sausage
HP: 10
Special Attack:
Body Slam-- +150 damage

Peanut and Popcorn: our matching cannibal birds... they like to attempt murder on a daily basis
HP: 55
Special Attacks:
NOT DYING WHEN I WANT THEM TO-- +300 damage


Butter: the newest of the bunch... he seems to enjoy shuffling about and being very noisy
HP: 65
Special Attack:
Sonic Screech-- +75 damage... casts opponent into confusion


I hope you enjoyed meeting my lovely 300 pets. They are SO SUPER and also AWESOME.

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